Friday, February 18, 2022

Poetic Movie Review of The Proposal

 There are three types of RomComs

There's the ones that are corny

The kind that are raunch and porn-y

Then there's ones filled with sweet

This movie is a little of all here

A premise that's hard to believe at times

Heroes we need to champion despite blatant crimes

No nudity, only implied 

Truly, all the actors get to shine

Love cannot be bred in a weekend 

Forget that, return it, resend 

The movie has a realistic take on love 

No matter the abuse, when push comes to shove

If you have money, you can be adored

You parents being dead won't be ignored

As long as you have a backstory: tragic

Then you can get away with being a dick

Regardless, the movie has a fun plot

Betty white had Ryan's grandma, who would've thought

Set ups with payoff 

A federal agent who is far less than soft

It's a nice twist on a modern genre

With enough gut punch, to hurtcha

Want a feel good movie?

With pleasant scenery and a singing Betty White  

I give this movie four out of five. 


Monday, December 13, 2021

The Blog Reloaded

This last weekend, I went to get caffeine, because I (like many people) have a caffeine addiction. Upon reaching my destination, I called my grandpa, because he was supposed to return my call from the day previous. He implied that it would be nice to hang out with me for a little while, but didn't outright just ask me to come visit. 

Usually, I would've gone back to doing chores, but I decided that if my grandpa was keen on hanging out, I might as well go see him. Once I got there, we sat for a while, and he told me about the griddle he was working on, how his brother has covid, and how Christmas was going to be. We ended up going down to the shop, so he could show me bits of his ingenuity. Going to be hoe st here, I have no idea what he was talking about, and I was at least half listening. Something about holes in a hinge not being big enough and using a rivet gun to push them through, so the griddle could have a third extension? 

Either way, I brought up how I keep throwing my throwing card, and to a lesser extension, my throwing knives over the target in the backyard, and through the slats. He gave me some metal outlet covers and a hammer, and I smashed them flat. Afterwards, he showed me how to use the grinder and laughed about me potentially losing my hands. All in all, I got to spend time with my grandpa and and I got new throwing cards. This way, when I become a famous electrician, is knt have to worry about assassin's sneaking up on my while I change outlets. 

I started this blog, a long time ago, as a way to connect to an audience and prove another person wrong. Maybe, a bit of rebranding would do me some good. Maybe putting things on the blog again would too. If it doesn't, at least I'll have some kind of running online journal of things I've done as of late. 

Out for now. 



Friday, November 19, 2021

Poetic Movie Review of F9

 Pronounced as Fuh-Nine 

This movie is divine 

It features the coolest stunts 

And weirdest plots 

If you're a fan of any of the others Fasts 

This movie has surprises that'll last 

Characters you thought were forgotten

Flashbacks to Dom's sins 

Tone downed things from the past 

Future rides that are a blast 

The music is as it's been

And the acting is fin, except Vin 

He just has to be tough 

And sound gruff 

Have a head with no hair 

And say family and that he cares

Take a shot every time he says family 

Take a shot every time you don't believe what you see 

The movie's biggest issues 

Besides suspension of disbelief 

Is the winking at the audience always 

But it's a set up for better games 

Fuh 10, FasTEN your seat belts 

Will be the best one yet 

Time travel, dinosaurs, and transformers 

There's not a thing I want more. 
















Friday, April 23, 2021

Poetic Movie Review of Mortal Kombat

 Using a new character's eyes 

We can see the clearest demise 

Of each character 

And down fodder 

Stuck between over the top action

And 1995 gaming traction 

And the soundtrack is great 

The set pieces are sleek

Character designs are unique 

Though some characters are just casualties 

I love the individual causalities

I love the lines from the game 

Even if the rest isn't the same 

It feels like it's just a setup 

For a sequel that's not mocked up 

And though I didnt hate it 

It wasnt the best 

With that in mind 

3.5 out of 5


Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Short Story: Voices

Lily rounded a brick wall, and a voice called out to her. For her entire life things had been rather normal. She'd never killed someone or stolen a car. Her taxes were filed on time, and she'd been late on rent only once, because she was too sick to cross the hall to her building's office. Like a good person, she checked for explosives under her car before starting it, and she got up in the middle of the night to recheck the deadbolt on her front door. Sometimes, she'd even take a photo of it, just in case. She investigated all the noises in her apartment with an axe in her hands. It was still shiny and sharp, but she couldn't be too careful. 

Her work life was just as normal. She'd been let go from several jobs for accusing people of watching her, and confronting them. If they didn't want to be confronted, then they should have stopped watching her. 

At one time, she'd had a couple of friends, but they'd gotten loose from the apartment and joined others in the street. She got tired of feeding them anyway. Never though had she heard a voice calling her name. 

"LILY!" The voice yelled. She looked over her shoulder and no one was there. No one had been there, she checked several times earlier. "LILY!" The voice yelled again. Her ears were free of devices, and there wasn't a cord sticking out of her brain stem. This was an occurrence happening now. "DUCK!" Lily, wholey trusted the voice, so she did as she was told. She ducked down just in time for a piece of shrapnel to smash into the bricks. Bits of red dust fell in her hair, but the shrapnel itself didn't touch her. 

To her left was a black SUV with its front bumper lodged through the back of a blue sedan. A man in a black suit and sunglasses kicked the passenger door off the SUV and darted out of the wreckage. He was nondescript, white with a spiked hair style. He could have vanished in a mall and no one would be able to tell who he was in a line up. His eyes locked into Lily, but he growled and turned his attention back to the sedan. 

He raised a weapon ahead of him and followed his line of sight. It wasn't a pistol, but some sort of solid piece of metal. "The Sliver," the voice said. The man twisted the sliver towards the passenger side of the sedan. The interior of the vehicle was dark, but he fired two shots through the glass. The bullets passed through and illuminated the inside of the car, but no one was there. 

Onlookers began pointing, staring, calling the cops, and Lily considered running, but she was mesmerized by the events unfolding around her. The man in black fired five rounds into the onlookers, and bullets passed through them too. The onlookers took final looks and lost the will to continue watching. He locked eyes will Lily again, and she could feel the cold calculations, but he didn't fire. 

"It is escaped," the voice said. A freezing chill grazed by Lily, and she popped her spin spinning around hard enough to see who was there. "It has seen you. It knows of you." 

The man in black was too preoccupied with his search of the vehicle to see Lily follow the shadow into an alleyway. "It cannot know of us," the voice said. 

Lily was estranged by the retreating shadow, and she followed it even as it passed into something more than an abandoned alley. Here, the walls shifted with black and red miss that spewed grey smoke into the air. The road became slick with moldy spores and hot light. The area stung Lily's eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to blink or stop following the shadow. Even as the world behind her vanished, she ran after it. The spores stung her arms and lips, burrowing into her warm flesh for a place to rest. 

But they weren't spores, they were tiny creature feasting upon atom after atop of her being. "Stop. This will not end for us." The creatures gnawed further into Lily's body, but her determination was singular: catch the shadow. She rounded another corner and the creature was there, standing against a wall, watching her. It had the shape of an amorphous dog that shifted with each step to another quadruped. The only constant was the bloodied light pulsing from its face. 

"Go no further. The creature wants death, no less," the voice said to Lily. It was far too late. The creature dashed towards her, shifting with each step to a larger creature. A dog. A puma. A lion. A bear. Until it was an unrecognizable monstrosity unhinging its jaw. It's teeth reached out for her, arms with hooks tightening around bits of her skin. 

"But it's so beautiful." It wrapped around her, tearing at bits of her body with it's hooks. And as it did so, it began to take her shape. Tugging and pulling, but tightening in, becoming her. It consumed her completely and shifted into her being. Death was all that was left. She took in a hesitant breath, and she was rounding the corner of the brick building again. 

"Duck." But this time, she didn't. It may have been the complete disbelief, but she stood still. The porting of shrapnel caught her across the torso, cutting into her. And very quickly, all that was left was death. She took in a shuttered breath again, and she was rounding the corner. 

"Duck." She did so. The car accident happened to her left again, and the man in black exited the vehicle with the sliver pointed out. He shot the window of the sedan, shot the crowd, and the shadow ran around Lily. This time, she did not follow it. 

"You are doing better maybe. We are proudest of this." 

"Who are you?" The man in black said to her. 

"Me?" Lily pointed to herself, despite knowing that she was the only person other than the man. 

"Yes," the man in black said flatly. 

"Run. You must run. As fast as you can," the voice said. At first, Lily didn't listen, because she was mesmerized by the slivers sleek surface. It didn't occur to her that it was pointed in her direction. "Too late," the voice said. 

Lily took a breath in. This one was salty like the ocean, and she as her eyes cracked open like green hard boiled eggs caked in frost, she saw that she was on a cliff face, overlooking the icy ocean. Her hands were stuff at her sides, and she couldn't hear anything. She couldn't say anything. The shadow that she remembered before was at the bottom of the cliff staring into the sky. A planet was there, small and luminescent like the moon. The shadow howled at the sphere, shifting more until it had the appearance of a wolf. 

"The zin. It needs something from us," the voice said. The mist and haze cleared up until Lily could see that the sphere in the sky was Earth. The zin leaped into the air, transforming into a bird, and flew off. Where was she? But before she could get any idea, a burning flame caught her in the chest killing her instantly. 

She was rounding the corner again, and the SUV rear-ended the sedan. This time she ducked because of pavlovian trickery. But this time, a normal human being got out of the SUV and went to make sure the person in the sedan was okay. There still wasn't anyone in the sedan. He looked around, but there was no trail of blood or person running off. There wasn't even a shadow in the distance to chase after. 

From there, Lily went on with her life. She had jobs, a family, lost her family in a plane crash from a freak accident, moved to the country to raise chickens, lost her chickens in an unexpected fire, and took up sewing. She had always expected that the instance all those years ago, fifty to be exact was caused my a combination of the flu and dehydration. She hadn't even told her late husband about it. 

Now, in her 80s, she spent her time alone on her farmstead, staring into a field of wild corn, sewing biblical scenes onto hand towels. It was a cozy life that she expected was the best life for her, but there was no was to know. 

"Just close your eyes. It'll be over soon," the voice said. She hadn't heard that voice in so long. The voice took physical form and grabbed her hand. It held her as she took her last few breaths and passed away from the world. One more for the depths of heaven. One more good person. A good tasty person with plenty of meat on their bones. A feast of a person really. Plus, she had spicy blood that would go well with more people in heaven. Jalapeno spicy and no cinnamon spicy? No one ever found Lily's body. She didn't have friends. Her family was gone, and even her chickens left after the fire. Seemed as though they had learned to fly to get out. 

That isn't to say nothing found her body. Just no person. A spider of bones and agony drizzled in the shadows of children and the blood of night creaked through the dying wild corn. It's mandibles dripping with anticipation. 

Lily rounded the corner.

Saturday, April 10, 2021

Poetic Movie Review of Godzilla vs King Kong

Kong is being held against his will 
Humans need his help with Kaiju 
They strap him to a big ass boat
And Godzilla attacks from the ocean floor 
Slicing things with his fin 
Making thing reach their end 
Only one big monster for the sea 
Kong plays dead for you and me 

The fights are grand and the colors rich 
The big monkey emotes with ease 
Godzilla kicks ass until he bleeds 
Laser focus and biting necks 
Punch and kick until you collapse 
Though the humans don't matter 
There is a flask 


If you need an answer 
Kong will ax. 
A skull of hard knocks 
A tele-path through revenge 
From the grave, we make amends 

Radioactive lizard and giant monkey 
Must band together, lowkey 
Because though we fight each other 
We're also stronger when we're together 
Cut through the bullshit 
And you'll never forget 
After the last fight 
Let the sky ring 
Godzilla is the one true King

Sunday, July 5, 2020

Update

Every moment that flickers 
A pucker of the lips 
Taste the ending of life 

A gateway to something more 
Some twinkling in the distance
Stars winking at me 

After some time, I grow tired 
No one comes close 
Dirty dirty night star

Don't eat too much now 
If you want to sleep for eternity 
Even angels get to die

Poetic Movie Review of The Proposal

 There are three types of RomComs There's the ones that are corny The kind that are raunch and porn-y Then there's ones filled with ...